is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
they call him Oral-B. enough said
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
