jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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