gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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