Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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