the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
