i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
