this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
