The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
