I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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