I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
