So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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