We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
sex in a hospital.. check
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
