You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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