Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
