I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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