take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
