That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
