You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
