champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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