Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
