Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
