Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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