Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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