I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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