Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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