I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
