I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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