just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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