Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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