Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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