have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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