you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
