I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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