I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
