It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
