thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
