Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
