Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
