is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
