It was confusing and full of hummus
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
