it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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