Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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