Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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