It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
