it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
