Plan B is the new Plan A
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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