Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
