She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
