you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My penis needs a shock collar
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?