Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
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Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks