I don't usually arrange sex via text message
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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