So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
