Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She announced her abortion via fbk
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
