He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She bit a glass in half.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
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Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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