You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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