That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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