She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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