dude i'm inner monologue high
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
