Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
