wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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