I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
